Why Women Need Feminism

I figured I’d start at the beginning by pointing out where sexism still exists today in our society. Spoiler alert: it’s everywhere. One of the main problems though is that we’ve been trained to overlook it. To accept it as normal. To take it and move on. Unfortunately, as Lauren Bates puts it, we’ve been gaslit on a massive scale. Women are told, “You’re overreacting. You misunderstood his intentions. Maybe you led him on. It’s to be expected when you dress like that. It’s much worse in other parts of the world.” We’ve been taught to doubt our own instincts and ignore our discomfort because sexism is so hyper-normalized. But the first step in working for change is becoming aware of the problem. So let me rattle off a (by no means complete) list of common places that sexism is still prevalent, many of which I will dive deeper into in future posts.

Early Childhood

Most parents and caretakers are not aware of it and may therefore deny it, but girls and boys are treated differently immediately upon birth. And I don’t just mean that they are usually given gender-stereotyped clothing and toys right off the bat (although policing which types of toys children are and are not allowed to play with based on their sex is problematic). I mean that boys and girls are literally handled, spoken to, and taught differently. Studies have shown that baby boys are moved, shifted, and played around with more than baby girls. Parents also tend to have emotional gender biases when interacting with their children: baby girls are rewarded with smiles, warmth, and food from caretakers when they display pleasant, helpful, and cooperative emotions, while boys are more often rewarded for looking seemingly tough or stoic. Growing girls are also told to use “nicer” voices by adults 3x more often than boys. Toddlers therefore learn quickly which emotions are “appropriate” for them based on their gender, and girls verbally and physically express their negative emotions such as anger less and less often as a result, instead internalizing and diverting it. This is not to say that all parents purposely impose sexist values on their young children, it is just to point out that unconscious gender biases tend to exist when any adult interacts with a child. And one of the most common messages that young girls receive in this way is to police themselves and be lady-like regardless of their discomfort so as not to come off as difficult or, as they get older, bitchy.

Late Childhood/Adolescence

At the same time that girls are being taught to be polite and likeable above all else, they are also beginning to learn about the male-centric world in which they live. A lack of representation is one major problem contributing to the low self-esteem that many young girls experience. The video game FIFA, for example, did not include any women’s teams until 2015. In Hollywood, 70-73% of major film roles are held by (mostly white) men. Only 24% of the US Senate and 27% of the US House of Representatives are made up of women, and 0% of US presidents have ever been women. The representation of ethnically diverse and LGBTQ+ people in the entertainment industry and politics is even more abysmal. This pattern continues with the literature and histories that are chosen to be taught in classrooms, with female and minority writers being passed over for literature written by men, and much of women’s and black history being erased altogether. If girls and minorities do not see people like them represented in these spaces in equal measures as they see white males, then how can they picture themselves ever occupying these positions? It is estimated that many girls start to lose faith in their own abilities around the age of 5, and are less likely than boys to run for student government positions once they reach school-age. They are even less likely to vote for other girls running. This is all despite girls outpacing boys in grade point average and college ambitions. Despite no scientific evidence of being less capable than boys, girls tend to underestimate and shrink themselves.

And then there’s the issue of sexualization: young girls see the objectification of female bodies practically everywhere they look, with women being at least 4x as likely to be portrayed as underweight in all forms of media. Girls’ suspicions that they too are being objectified are then only confirmed by sexist school dress codes meant to “protect” boys from being distracted by young female bodies, as well as by sexual harassment, bullying, and slut-shaming by classmates and even adults of both genders. In environments like this, it is no wonder that by the age of 6 many girls think of their bodies as sex objects and express a desire to dress in more revealing clothing, and that 31% of girls between the ages of 13 and 17 admit to starving themselves to lose weight.

Adulthood

Sexual Harassment and Male Violence

Sexual harassment starts early in most girls’ lives and continues well into adulthood. 65-98% of women worldwide admit to having experienced street harassment by men (i.e., staring, whistling, commenting on physical appearance such as body/clothing/race/etc., making demands, taking photos, invading personal space or blocking a path, following/stalking, flashing, etc.), with over half of those women remembering it first happening before the age of 17. This is often an invisible problem because it is usually between a lone woman and her harasser, and when women do speak up about it to others they may be met with denial or told to take it as a compliment or a joke. The reality of sexual harassment though is that it is degrading and threatening, as it always has the potential to escalate. It is a violation of women’s rights because it causes a loss of dignity and sense of safety, it forces women to be on constant guard, and it discourages them from using public spaces.

Sexual harassment is just one seemingly harmless end of the spectrum of men’s abuse of women. The other end includes assault, rape, and murder. 63% of homeless women in the US are survivors of domestic violence. Women with disabilities are at a 40% greater risk of partner violence than those without. 1 in 5 women in the US will experience rape or attempted rape in her lifetime. For Native American women, that number is 1 in 3. For young black females, the number of assaults is 3 in 5. This usually occurs before the age of 18, and is one of the main predictors for this demographic ending up in the juvenile justice system. It is estimated that 80% of sexual assault and rape victimizations of students aged 18 to 24 go unreported. Rape is the most underreported crime in the world. And only 3 out of 100 rapes end with the rapist serving any jailtime. As Laura Bates puts it, with statistics like these, it is not hysterical to say that rape is de-criminalized. Like Brock Turner, rapists get a slap on the wrist at most for their horrific offenses, and then walk free while the victims are left to cope with the trauma they’ve endured for the rest of their lives.

This is not to say that all men should be feared - flirtatious and well-intentioned exchanges between men and women are common. But the cost of a woman being wrong about a man’s intentions is high. When asked, most women would probably deny that they are constantly thinking about rape and violence when alone in public, but their actions would say otherwise. Assault is always in the back of a woman’s mind, hence the reason they tend to avoid eye contact with men on the street, hold their keys between their fingers, and go to the restroom in pairs or groups. Women’s caution is not misandry, or the hatred of men. It is simply the constant awareness of our circumstances.

The Workplace

Sexual harassment does not just come from strangers on the street. 1 out of 4 women also report having been harassed by men they know in the workplace. This often includes sexual innuendos, sexual advances, outright sexist jokes, intentional alienation of women, etc. This doesn’t always just come from co-workers either – men in charge are also sometimes guilty of sexism in these forms and others, including ignoring reports of harassment, commenting on/hiring based on a woman’s reproductive age, and being overall cruel and distrusting of women with families. The US is one of the only developed countries in the world that does not provide new parents with paid leave. We are hostile towards women entering and staying in the workplace. And then there’s the gender pay gap, which is currently 82 cents for every dollar that men make, and is even lower for minority women. To overcome this gap, women often seek higher education, which leads to more debt (women currently hold 65% of US student loan debt), which is then even harder to pay off due to the gender wage gap. A viscous cycle. But it gets worse. A study done by Cornell University in 2016 concluded that job type is the single greatest contributor to this pay gap. This means that the more “feminine” a job, the less people will pay for it to be done. So when women start taking up jobs that are typically done by men, the median salary in that field decreases. This brings nursing and teaching to mind for me. We as a society claim that nurses and teachers do hugely important and noble work, but don’t pay them what they are worth.

The Home

Despite huge numbers of women being in the workforce, traditional gender roles and expectations still prevail in many minds and homes, with women continuing to carry most domestic burdens. 85% of US women will engage in household chores, cooking, and/or childcare in a typical day compared to only 67% of men. Married mothers are estimated to perform 3.5 times as much household work as fathers. Many men continue to be viewed as “helpers” in their own homes while women are assigned the bulk of domestic work, even if they are a primary or sole wage earner. And these statistics don’t even include emotional labor or “the mental load,” which is the mental activity required to manage and/or perform routine tasks necessary for maintaining relationships and ensuring the smooth running of a household. Emotional labor includes mental tasks such as organizing grocery lists, remembering important appointments and dates, recalling the food intolerances and preferences of your family to feed them accordingly, etc. It is the invisible burden that many women disproportionately bare and that often goes un-appreciated. Regarding this uneven distribution of household work, Soraya Chemaly states that “Women’s unpaid and undervalued care work stands as the single greatest wealth transfer in today’s global economy. Without this provision of care, markets would crash, economies would grind to a halt, and men could not continue to dominate entire job sectors and institutional hierarchies.”

Healthcare

The policing and self-silencing tendencies of young girls that I mentioned earlier often follows them into adulthood. Many women repress negative emotions and force a smile in the face of sexism to avoid being labeled as a difficult bitch, to be taken seriously in the workplace, and sometimes even to protect themselves in potentially dangerous situations. This repression of emotions, especially anger and anxiety, can literally start to present itself physically. Somatization is the production of recurrent and multiple medical symptoms with a lack evidence for a known medical condition. In other words, unprocessed negative emotions literally affect our immune systems. Links have been shown between emotional repression and a decline in antibodies, with women suffering chronic fatigue syndrome 4x the rate of men, and irritable bowel syndrome 3x more, for example. This is not to say that anger causes disease, but that repressed emotions are repeatedly implicated in the incidence and prevalence of disease among women.

On top of women’s unexpressed emotions making them more susceptible to illness, women’s pain is then often dismissed. Implicit bias studies repeatedly reveal that medical professionals of all genders and backgrounds take women’s pain less seriously than men’s. Males are treated more quickly in the ER and are sent to intensive care units faster and more frequently than females. Healthcare professionals also spend more time with men than women presenting with the exact same symptoms. ER wait times are also affected by class, with people of lower income waiting longer to be seen. Additionally, menstrual pain in particular gets dismissed by many healthcare providers, as it is not a part of male physiology, and male physiology is used as a universal default. Women’s physiology has largely been ignored throughout most of history, and it was not until 1993 that, by law in the US, women were required to be included in clinical research trials. This history of erasure and dismissal of women in healthcare causes many to internalize their mistreatment, leading to women second guessing their symptoms so as not to be seen as hysterical. This is especially true of women of color, who deal with even more severe stereotypes. This is, again, not to say that all healthcare professionals are misogynistic in their work – I happen to know a few decent ER docs myself ;). This is just to say that a clear pattern of implicit bias exists in medicine, and that healthcare providers must actively work against them in order to provide good care.

Micro-actions to Fight Sexism

As I said in the intro of this post, this list is by no means complete. Sexism exists in all spaces and at all stages of life. The extent of the problem can be deeply overwhelming. But there are micro-actions that we can all implement to start fighting it at a personal level. If you’ve made it to the end of this post and intend to follow along with this blog, then you’ve already started on one of my suggestions: Educate and raise awareness in yourself and others around you who will listen. This is the most important step of them all. Until we recognize the problem, there can be no hope in fixing it. Once aware, we can be more conscious and careful when interacting with children to be sure that they are being taught to express and value a full range of emotions as well as a full range of body types. We can also then ensure that they are being exposed to people of all genders, races, sexualities, etc. in the media and the classroom so that they can learn to respect all people and can see ones just like them occupying all types of spaces.

With awareness, we can also start speaking out against the sexism we see around us. I do want to point out that speaking up can be dangerous to women in certain situations though, so I recommend doing a quick risk evaluation to decide if and how a sexist action can be called out. If the situation is safe, then I’d encourage women to stand up for themselves and others without worrying about how it comes off. Disclaimer: you will be called a buzz-killing bitch some of the time. That’s our unfortunate reality. Standing up for the oppressed is never a walk in the park, but it is a necessary walk nonetheless. This is where men can really step up too though. Men are usually in less vulnerable positions to call other men out for their sexism. If you see something, say something. Hold. Other. Men. Accountable. This also means a moment of discomfort for telling your best friend off for his sexist joke, or an awkward silence after telling your male coworker to stop repeatedly interrupting your female coworker in the meeting. I’m all for humor, I really am. I love The Office “That’s What She Said” jokes as much as the next guy (girl). But I also add in “That’s What He Said” when appropriate. Curate your jokes.

I also highly encourage trusting women. Contrary to the misinformation that we’ve been fed, the chance of a woman lying about assault is very, very low compared to the actual rates. In the UK, a young boy is 230 times more likely to be raped himself than to be falsely accused of it. Trust. Women. Because it happens all the time, at all ages, and in all places. Whether you know it or not, you already know someone who has been sexually assaulted, guaranteed.

And, finally, VOTE! I’m not obtuse - I realize that one single (albeit, long) feminist post won’t have anyone immediately jumping party lines. But if you’re interested or invested in this cause, if you’re choosing to follow along with me here and want to learn more, then at least start paying attention to your politicians. Listen to their language. Take their assault allegations seriously if they have any against them. Look into their plans for women’s rights and protections. Trust the red flags if you see them.

The information and statistics in this post are from the below sources. If you want to learn more but are short on time/not into reading, I highly recommend the iWeigh podcast episode with Laura Bates (founder of the Everyday Sexism Project – a website where people post their daily encounters with sexism).

https://www.earwolf.com/episode/fixing-the-system-not-the-women-with-laura-bates/

https://everydaysexism.com/